A topic debated for centuries. Cynics and romantic mad lovers, all have their different views. There are different elements which can help us to understand whether it will bloom or fade. Let’s understand some elements of true love.
It needs to generate a lot of happiness. every exchange of conversation, time and energy needs to create a positive emotion in each other. The capacity to offer happiness and keep the other person happy can be the attitude and responsibility of both the parties.
Compassion as energy has the capacity to remove suffering in you and the other person. In Hindi, we say it “Karuna”.Compassion is an element of true love. An example of True love is, between a newborn and the mother.
Joy is also an important part, If the other person cries just because of you then surely an important element is missing. If he or she cries gives you a pain, his or her happiness gives you happiness this means you are able to develop the cord of love.
Inclusiveness, an element of true love where you see yourself and other people as one. There is no separation whether the problem belongs to you or the other person. Each one shares the problems and joys of life as one. Love continues to grow.
Here again Dr. Lisa Firestone, co-author of Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships, often says that the best way to think of love is as a verb. Even Stephen Covey also agrees that love is an activity. Love is dynamic and requires action to thrive. In a seminar a person mentioned to Stephen covey that there is no love between me and my wife, for which Stephen says ‘do love’, love is an activity which will create the feeling of happiness, joy, compassion and Inclusiveness.
Bollywood gives us strong impressions on our subconscious mind which say that love starts by feeling but actually it may start initially but sustains by little things we do which helps to create feelings. Feelings of Joy, Happiness, Compassion and Inclusiveness.
True love is all about surrendering, with no expectations, sharing a lot of freedom of expression for the partner, help the person to thrive and let the person achieve what he or she wants.
At times it may feel frustrating, but it’s actually pretty empowering to accept the fact that the only person we have any true control over in a relationship is ourselves. We are in charge of our behaviour which is dynamic. Therefore, we can choose whether to engage in behaviours that are destructive to intimacy or whether to take actions that express feelings of love, mutual freedom.
To connect with and sustain loving feelings within us, we have to take actions that are loving. Otherwise, we may live in a fantasy or at times end up with conflict in a relationship and try to find the definition of true love.